LOA Lesson 13- Forbidden Attraction Part II

There are many forms of forbidden attraction, many instances in which the feelings that two people have for each other cannot be permitted to hold precedence. There are other occasions in which there is a certain amount of flexibility involved, when the rules can be bent a little bit as long as the relationship is carried out discreetly and away from the public eye.

One of the occasions where there is very little leeway in the freedom to carry out a relationship is between various members of the military; specifically, the relationship between a commanding officer and a subordinate. This is a very difficult situation, particularly in combat groups, because military officers are often together for extended periods of time in situations that can quickly lead to a feeling of closeness that would take months to develop in other situations. When you place your life in the hands of other people on a daily basis you attempt to make it a point to get to know them quickly.

The difficulty in the relationship between a commanding officer and a subordinate one is that it is often difficult to decipher whether the relationship is one that would have developed away from the battlefield or if it is one that developed in the heat of the moment. It is normal for a subordinate officer to develop a hero worship of their CO; the commanding officer is in a position of authority and as such is very much the alpha in the situation. However, a relationship between the two is forbidden because of the discord that it may cause between other members of a working group.

In addition, in a combat situation a team must be able to go forward and focus on their goal, trusting each other to carry their own weight and to complete the mission whatever the cost. If you have a pair of officers in a relationship they will be worrying about the well being of the other; a normal event in ordinary circumstances, but a death wish on occasions where quick thinking and a clear head are required.

After considering the possible consequences and the disciplinary action that will come down on all parties involved it is decided that continuing on with a relationship in these circumstances is very much against the laws of attraction; it is simply not feasible. What, then, can two people do who find themselves in this situation? After all, regardless of rules and regulations it is impossible to control the desires of the heart.

As such, the best advice that they can heed is to wait and be patient. With the number of transfers in the military the day is bound to come when they will no longer be in the same command and will then be free to pursue a relationship. If the relationship had a foundation other than physical attraction and hero-worship to begin with, it will last for this period of time. If waiting is not a possibility, there is always the possibility of one or the other resigning or requesting a transfer. There is a way; however, before making such a momentous decision each party should consider the relationship carefully to ensure that it is worth the possible consequences.