LOA Lesson 12- Forbidden Attraction

There are many situations in which a man and a woman may meet and develop an interest in other, not all of which loan themselves to the development of a stable relationship. There are some occasions upon which a man and a woman may meet and become attracted to one another but not be able to act upon these feelings. What can you do when you are the victim of a forbidden attraction?

There are many situations in which an attraction may be forbidden, and each has a different set of established protocol. Let us start with the most common case of forbidden attraction. The person you are attracted to is already in a relationship with someone else. The question that must be considered here is how serious their relationship is. If they are merely casually dating with the understanding that they can each see other people if they so desire there is no reason to allow this to stop you from acting upon your interest. On the other hand, if the relationship is an exclusive one it is better to establish a friendship and wait for that relationship to run its course than to attempt to act too soon.

If the man or woman who has caught your eye is married and living in a monogamous relationship with their spouse it is better to step aside than to continue to pursue the relationship. The chances are good that they will not choose to end their marriage for you and there is only so long that an affair can continue without someone getting hurt. It is not always the spouse of the other individual who finds themselves the victim of this situation; do you really want to go home at night knowing that the person you are dreaming of will be returning to someone else's bed?

Another obstacle is often the rules against fraternization in the workplace. There are many obstacles to step around in this situation and company policy should be carefully considered. If company policy merely discourages dating among its employees, you are dating a fellow employee and the two of you are capable of getting the job done without putting on a great show for your co-workers there is no reason that this relationship cannot be pursued with discretion. Bear in mind, however, that even after the end of the relationship the two of you are going to have to work together. If this is not something that you feel comfortable doing it is better to maintain a friendship with that individual and evaluate your feelings at such a time as one or both of you are ready to search for new employment.

There are many other types of forbidden attraction, and these will continue to be discussed a bit later on in this collection; however, these two are the most common and should be handled with a great deal of care.